I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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