Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
