Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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