sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize