Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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