Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
