Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
