I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Operation Purity has been aborted
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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