plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize