I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
