it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
