It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
