Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
