Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
