I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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