Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
