Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
