Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
