then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Send help, water and tortillas.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
