I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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