So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
