i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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