just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
