Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
