so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize