A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize