I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
