I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize