Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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