My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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