The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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