Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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