I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
