we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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