and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
