The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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