I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
