He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
