I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
