Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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