Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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