okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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