Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
