Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
