She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
