you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
