I looked at my own cervix.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
