I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Couch. On fire.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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