Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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