I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
God I need to hump something, right now.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
