i don't want you to think of me as your TA
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize