She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
