4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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