Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
