Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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