that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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