She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
