Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
