is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize