I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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