Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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