Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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