So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Randomize
