I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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