we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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