I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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