I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize