I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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